Excitedly, and a little nervously, I ripped the wrapping paper off my Christmas present from my recently ex boyfriend. What would the book be? Perhaps a Stephen King thriller? Or the latest Cecilia Aherne? I felt perhaps not.
There was already a little history to books for presents from exes in my life. My ex husband bought me How to be an assertive woman after I left him, found a new place to live and took the kids with me. Needless to say, I didn’t read it.
My recent ex has been my recent ex twice this year. First time round he bought me Susan Jeffers’ The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love. I read that one and realised I’m not afraid to love and be loved. Jolly good!
Obviously though the love didn’t last because he became my ex again a few months later. So as I unwrapped my pressie running through my head were visions of all sorts of books…….
I got this:
Ok. So maybe its not that I can’t love. Maybe I have a commitment issue? Well I can see his thinking! So I decided to give it a go and made a start. I learnt the need to get rid of ghosts haunting my current relationships. I learnt that I need to stop blaming. Struggling with that one. I do still blame my ex husband for lying and being abusive. I’m not taking responsibility for that. Ever.
The third thing was to find and know yourself. And thats where I got sidetracked and this begins. A little Googling of ‘how to get to know yourself’ came up with this:
with a list of 29 questions to help you get to know yourself better.
- What activity in your life lights you up with joy?
- What is something you always love doing, even when you are tired or rushed? Why?
- If a relationship or job makes you unhappy, do you choose to stay or leave?
- What do you fear about leaving a bad job or a bad relationship?
- What do you believe is possible for you?
- What have you done in your life that you are most proud of?
- What is the thing that you are second most proud of?
- What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?
- How does your being here in the universe change humanity for the better?
- If you could have one single wish granted, what would it be?
- How comfortable are you with your own mortality?
- What is your highest core value?
- To your best knowledge, how do other people perceive you?
- How would you like others to perceive you?
- How confident are you in your abilities to make decisions for yourself?
- What is your biggest self-limiting belief?
- Who is the most important person in your life?
- Who is your greatest role model?
- Who is a person that you don’t like yet you spend time with?
- What is something that is true for you no matter what?
- What is your moral compass in making difficult decisions?
- What is one failure that you have turned into your greatest lesson?
- What role does gratitude play in your life?
- How do you feel about your parents?
- How is your relationship with money?
- How do you feel about growing old someday?
- What role has formal education played in your life and how do you feel about it?
- Do you believe your destiny is pre-determined or in your hands to shape however you wish?
- What do you believe is the meaning of your life?
So I thought it would be fun to explore all these questions with my family and friends and see what happens.
And maybe by the end of it, I’ll be ready to go back to that book about commitment and learn some more ….